Johnny, Johnny,

Yes, Papa,

Eating sugar?

No, Papa

Telling lies?

No, Papa

Open your mouth

O Ha! Ha! Ha!

 

We have been listening this poem since our childhood.  Papa is laughing on Johnny’s lies.

Is it good , Papa is appreciating Johnny for his lies ? No , we always learnt, stay with truth,  tell true but no lies.  Despite all these learning ,  we also tell lies.   But why do we tell lies  ????  Do we really need ?

 

A lie is TRUTH until it has been caught.  Yes…  because till that time , we believe each and every piece  of statement . But when truth comes  out,  we  see the stunning lies .  Suddenly, the truth turned out as a bitter lie.

 

We tells lies … and we face lies, in almost every part of life.  In office, in school,  in market and in Home as well.    Everybody around us  is telling lie sometimes somewhere.   Most of the times, we tell, lie to hide the truth. Second most common reason for lying  is to get some benefits from others.  Another very common reason  for lying is to help others.   We lie in one of these respects.

 

We easily forget lies by some stranger ..even they are big in nature.  If we don’t forget them,  we ignore them , they don’t hurt us or our feelings.

 

When I was in Germany,  I happened to meet a Girl at Heidelberg Railway station.  Around 10:00 PM, in winter, I was waiting for my train , which was last for the day to my town.  This Girl came to me , asking for some help. She wanted to contact her friends, as she had to meet them  for going out. She wanted some money change coins to make phone call from public booth.  Looking at an Indian face and alone at Railway station,  I thought of helping her. She introduced herself as an Student , came from Kerala for internship at SAP Manheim and would be going back to Kerala in next 2 months.  She asked for a minor help and I did for her.  Later on , she could not met her friends so she came back to Station , and we spent some 15-20 minutes, before my train.

In this discussion,  she discussed only about her problems, she is facing on short term stay in Germany.  We exchanged our mail ID and Phone numbers,.

But looking at her dress up and style,  I was confused. To  clear my confusion, I logged on internet and made a search on her name. And found some other facts. The girl was a German born , and staying there for more than 20yrs.   So, that was a big lie ……. And truth was reviled.   Later on , we chatted and I gave her several chance to accept the truth, but she was continuously telling me same story.

even knowing this as a lie, I did not mind it much, because I understand,  she cannot tell all about her to any stranger.   Later I told her, I know the truth.

Though , I know, it  was a big lie,  it did not bothered me at all. Because this was told by some person, who was not a dearer to me.

 

But smaller lies by any dearer or nearer may hurt  us very deeply.   All the relations are based on individual trust  on each other.   A small lie can lead to very big misunderstanding.  Till the time  trust exist between each other, we do not think of lies. But once a lie is caught, all the truth becomes suspicious.  And we fee every other thing may be a big lie.  And after this, trust starts diminishing, breaking all the relations.

No . Sometimes,  we know that truth can hurt our  nearer . Hence we try to avoid the truth, thinking to close the matter.  We keep our intentions very pure and try  to save our dearer from unnecessary pain.  But we do not think about the condition, when they come to know the truth.  It is very hard to hide the truth.  And it comes out sooner or later.  And at that time, it hurts more.  And in result , we get more pain to them and face sourness in relationship

 

Once I invited one of my friend for a party at my home.  At the last minute, the friend called me and informed me that he  got some urgent  work at home, and he cannot go out.   Finally , he did not come to my home for Party.  Later , same day I  called him again to talk him, but he was not at home.   Now this was shocking for me. I was not expecting this lie from a friend.  And I felt very-very bad and hurting .   If he had some other program, he should have informed me , rather than creating any false excuse.  Definitely, I would have felt bad on his denial , but not as much as I felt on his lie.   Now ,  I would not believe his reasons for any denial , even if he has genuine reasons.   He might had proper intentions for lying, but that has broken the trust.   Building trust takes very long time, and  rebuilding trust takes even longer.  

He is a good friend of mine, so  I’m trying to forgive him,  but I have seen this behavior several times.  Now I’m confused , what should I do. If I go and ask him,  I’m sure he will tell another lie to me, as to hide his old lies.  But I’m feeling restless ,  as one of my dearer  is betraying me.   Still considering him as a good friend,  

If we really care our nearer and dearer,   why we tell lies to them ? Do we really want to hurt them ?   In a true relationship, we must avoid lying at any point of time.  If the person is understanding ,  he will accept the truth, even if it is harsh.  By lying, we can please others . They will feel happy till the time they don’t know the truth.  And  when they know the truth and feel hurt , we are not much bothered about them.

 

But we are  concerned with feelings of out friends and dears .  Certainly we do not help our dears with any lie. But we give more pain in future.   Rather than pleasing them  for few moments and giving big pain later,  we should tell the truth.   If they feel hurt , we should clarify and help them understanding the truth.   If we really care for someone, we must be truthful to them in any condition, at any point  of time.  If required , clarify and let them know, “I Always Care for you”.